This week i’ve spoken to a majority of people that made me realize how far i’ve truly come. I appreciate today more than ever the two people who raised me, my parents. They’ve done an amazing job teaching me what values and morals all consist of. And, being that i’m a well respected lady today, I think i’ve proven to them that their teachings were greatly invested and not wasted. I’m not saying that I don’t make mistakes because i’m young and I have still many lessons to learn, but i’ve never done anything that’s against my morals and values. My parent’s, though our relationship is never perfect, I love them unconditionally and i’m so grateful to have been raised by two such individuals. I don’t think any parents relationship with their kids is ever perfect though, so that’s okay. I just want to thank both my parents for teaching me that no dream is ever too small or that nothing is ever far enough that we can’t get to it. Both my parents have always told me, “your education first because everything else will follow” and i’m so lucky to have been taught that. I’m not an average teenage girl, seriously. The things that people my age do for fun bore the hell out of me. I can’t be in a club every friday and saturday where people get all sort of stupid and dumb. I can’t hang out with people who I can’t have a conversation that doesn’t go further than sex and alcohol. Sure, pour me a couple of drinks on a random saturday and lets chill. I wouldn’t mind. I just can’t do the whole “club thing” ever. My idea of fun is going to Barnes and Nobles, get a good new book and start reading with a starbucks coffee on the side.
To my parents: I feel like i’m the luckiest girl to have been raised with such mentality and I owe it all to both of you. You guys have raised me to never disrespect my morals or my integrity because those are one of the most beautiful things a human being can hold. I’m so glad that I was raised with the beliefs you both enforced. Thank you for teaching me well. I love you both, regardless.
Wow … every word, perfect.
Some people want it all but I don’t want nothing at all if it ain’t you, baby, if I ain’t got you baby.
i’ve been celebrating ever since. I don’t feel any different because I still feel like i’m the same the age. However, I do feel different as a person. My 18th was an eye opening year for me. I thought I was the person who had answers to everything but, I didn’t. In fact, I had no answers. So many people took me for granted and when I finally walked away, they were left with nothing to say. See, I like to think friendship is like gold. It’s beautiful if it’s real but, if it’s cheap, you don’t wear it and toss it away. Which is why i’ve always kept good gold around me. I also think distance is nothing when a friendship is honest and real. Moving on, I had so many people call me for my birthdays and tell me so many wonderful things. A call i’ll never forget is the one my aunt gave me. “For your 19th, I wish you a beautiful year that comes along with a boyfriend. You need a boyfriend,” said she. Those words hit me so hard because I feel like at this point in my life the last thing I need is a romantic relationship. I have two amazing guys in my life, each of them which I love unconditionally. I have stopped myself from choosing because I know that if I do, i’ll lose the other. I think that for my 19th year i’ll be focusing on myself because sometimes one need to be a little selfish. I just want a healthy, happy and beautiful year .. along with some alcohol.
Thank you all for the wonderful wishes and birthday messages. I’ve been drunk since friday so i’m sorry if I didn’t directly send a nice “thank you”.
Xoxo.
It’s been a while since i’ve actually sat down and let my thoughts flow on a piece of paper or at least, online. It’s just that I feel like I have so much to tell but can’t find the rights words to say it. And today, something hit me. My mother’s sister, my aunt, told my mom how i’m going to turn 19 pretty soon and I don’t have a “boyfriend”. And I just sat there. Those words stuck me right across my heart. Why? Because I have two people who genuinely care about me and I just feel like i’m playing a never ending game. I’m so used to not wearing my heart on my sleeves and when I do, something always messes it up. I don’t want to deal with any of that. Love, give my heart a break.
I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO ASK FOR MY OPINION AND THEN TRY TO TELL ME IM WRONG. That’s dumb.
One of the last conversations my grandfather and I had before he passed away was about love. It always hits me hard when I think about it because every word he told me was true. He was always telling me that I would be the girl who would love silently and that this could be a gift if only i’d use it wisely. I always laughed it off because I thought his ideas about my love life were nonsense. Today, I understand everything he ever told me and how right he was about all of it. When he said that I would be the one to love silently he meant that I would be the one to show my love rather than express it. I would be the one to not tell you “I love you” enough but that every day, by my actions, you would know it. He ended that conversation by telling me this: “Wherever your heart takes you .. that’s home.” He was right about every single thing ..
I miss you so much abuelo .. a piece of me left with you and I think about you everyday.
